Irene is Coming.. Ready or Not

New York City started the year with blizzards... This week kicked off with an Earthquake...  Then on Wednesday I learnt that Irene was coming. It feels like somebody somewhere in the city has upset mother nature. And she is mad.

When reading about the Hurricane I quickly found out that my apartment Downtown was in Zone A, that meant that we were going to be hit the worst. Evacuations were likely, if not certain. Damn.

The Mayor announced yesterday after lunch that Zone A would indeed be under mandatory evacuations - E, R and I had to get out. With the Subway shutting down from noon the next day it was important we sorted ourselves out soon. With 250,000 New Yorkers evacuated it was going to be a fight for a place to stay. Evacuation centres are not known to be safe places and hotels were booking out fast. R was on the phone fast and managed to score rooms are the Westin Times Square. Phew.

Of course Potato was concerned when he learnt we were being evacuated and quickly offered space for us in his midtown his apartment.

Me: "Its Ok, Renault managed to get us into a hotel"
Potato: "Oh.. I can't even get girls into my apartment when there are mandatory evacuations.."

Sorry Potato...

A little anxious about having to leave our home E, R and I packed up and left first thing this morning. Downtown was dead. The only people on the streets had suitcases and were scurrying to escape. The Subway was closing soon and rides were free of charge to assist The mood on the subway was somber. Everyone seemed a little apprehensive. A journalist took photos of the very few riders and tried to interview an angry looking lady.

Times Square was a little better - at least there were people around. Everyone is scrambling for food and lining up outside the few open stores. McDonald's, Starbucks and Duane Reade are all closed. Planet Hollywood is boarded up.

Its being reported that the storms will start this evening and Irene will hit at 3am. For now, I have power, water and cookies and I'm ready to see how this adventure plays out! I might be an a self proclaimed adventurer..  but this hotel sure is no cave in the jungle. Might just have to go and check it out.

A very Seinfeld weekend

Yesterday night we had a networking event at work and I was speaking to one person who expressed a great deal of concern that E and I had opted not to go home for six months. We assured him it’s easy to keep in touch with everyone via Skype. “My Mum just spins the camera around and it’s like I never left home.”  

Secretly, the camera is actually a pain because it forces we to wear pants. Although, I would argue that pants are a good thing and should be worn at all times .There was an awkward moment at Noodle’s house when we walked in on her roommate cooking wontons – sans pants. “Don’t mind me, I’m not wearing pants!”... Um ok..

Believe it or not all of this rambling has been a roundabout way of making a point – my Mum expressed some sadness at me returning home. She should be happy, but she is going to miss my blog. I’m not sure if I should be touched or concerned. Surely the real me is better than a nonsensical blog – I guess the blog is just mind bogglingly awesome...

So, this is why, despite the fact that I didn’t do much of anything on the weekend, I am writing a post about... well nothing really. Hey, if Seinfeld can a television series covering nothing in New York, then I can write one blog post.

The weekend started out on Friday afternoon (as weekends usually do) at Ulysses, a pub in the financial district. We went there for a happy hour with all the college new starters. It was a huge group and we couldn’t all fit on the table we were given inside. Half of us sat on a table outside up on the cobblestone road. After the usual pleasantries E and I started to talk rubbish...

Me: E, we have to stick together, like in Brave Heart. If we were a country, we would be Scotland.

E: Yes... exactly!

Noodles: Am I Scotland?

E: No, you’re Ireland

Noodles: Then who is Potato?

E/Noodles/Me: <together> WALES!

Proud of our revelation we looked up to see all the new starters starring at us with an extreme amount of concern. “Umm, we’re just going to go inside and check on the other table.”

Oops... perhaps we should try and act more normal... It was time to try and shake the crazy off with some dance moves. On the recommendation of a co-worker E, Noodles, and a few other colleagues hit up M-1-5 a nightclub in Tribecca. The crowd in the club was an awkward group of people pretending to have swagger. Despite their poor dancing we still managed to be the most absurd people in the place... Pft! I argue that jumping up and down for three hours not only constitutes as dancing – it constitutes as good dancing. The best even.

Next came Saturday: Saturday was hot. Really hot. Noodles, E, Pizza and I sought refuge in a cemetery and talked about nothing...

“What is the opposite of friends with benefits?”...

“Colleagues without benefits”...

“I accidently watched a movie in French”...

”You kept watching it when you found out it was in French? You have grown up”...

”Yeah, I was practically rolling around in the mud when I first got here”...

“Would you rather be cremated or buried?”...

”Stuffed and mounted in your bedroom so you would never forget me”..

Eventually we had to leave the cemetery (it was closing), so Noodles and I were off to the cinema. This confused the New Yorker in the group

Pizza: Come on guys. It’s a beautiful day! Let’s get out of this cemetery and enjoy it.

Me: It’s not that exciting. We are from Australia.

Pizza: But it’s so clear and sunny!

Me: I don’t think you’re understanding. We. Are. From. Australia.

Pizza: Huh?

E: What she means to say is – We are from Australia.

Pizza: What?

E: It is always like this...

Message to Tourism Australia – We accept cheques.

That night E, Noodles and I did dinner at a Cuban place in SoHo – Cafe Habana. We didn’t want to wait for a seat so we sat at the bar (so un-Seinfeld of us). The corn was amazing - I have never tasted corn that good.

Afterwards we were off to 80s night at the Canal Room. It’s my third time there, because it is so much fun. We managed to get there early enough to get to the front of the stage. It wasn’t long before an obnoxious group of bachelorettes pushed us aside. I was so mad – smoke was coming out of my ears. I was all set to get my revenge in my usual way (think bad thoughts about them) when Noodle’s interjected. “Don’t get mad, get even.”

And get even she did. She danced around like a manic – purse and hair flying. The more the girls and guys (yes, they brought men to a bachelorette party) pushed into her, the more she pushed back. She screamed song lyrics so loud I’m sure she deafened one of the men – totally fair because he was the same guy who declared “I hate the 80s” – at an 80s cover band concert.

This was fun. We were all laughing hysterically. If Potato was there he would have warned us – this is America, people carry guns. Then he would have joined in with Noodle anyway. So, E and I followed her lead. I should mention somewhere here that we were all completely sober...Clearly people this crazy should not be allowed to drink. We danced and screamed so hard that E lost her voice. I managed to go so far as to get right into the middle of the bachelorette party and wave around obnoxiously, blocking their conversations. I was so obnoxious they thought I was one of them and I was included in the round of drinks.

Obnoxious 80s hating guy: This one is yours

Me: It’s not mine

Obnoxious 80s hating guy: Take it, you’re the only one left

Me: I don’t actually know you...

I don’t think we managed to annoy them much at all (other than the now deaf 80s hater). After the concert, the band came down from the stage to flirt with the girls. It could have been fun to watch, but the 80s costumes the band members were wearing was a bit too much for us to handle up close. Men in purple spandex and leggings?? We needed to get out of there.

Exhausted from all the crazy dancing, I went to bed without setting an alarm for the first time since coming to New York. When I awoke I was super confused. Where am I? Who am I? ... Get a grip!! I managed to figured out who and where I was... but my clock was broken. I fumbled around for my phone. Also broken. What? Oh wait... neither was broken... it really was 1pm. As I always say – far out.

I was out of bed quick and down to South Sea Port for a long walk. I stopped for what was the best éclair of my life – In fact, my life can now be divided into two parts - “before the éclair” and “after the éclair”. I don’t even like éclairs! In the evening E and Noodles joined me at Shake Shack and we went for another movie. Hmm... they send you all the way to New York and all you can do it go to the movies? Harsh but fair - I better step it up next weekend. No more Seinfeld imitating for me... except tonight... and probably tomorrow night...